Friday, February 29, 2008

Things you should never say to a Military wife

I didn't write this, but I do think it's pretty darn funny!

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. "At least he's not in Iraq .."
(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan . What do they think is happening in Afghanistan ? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"
(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back to Iraq (or wherever) b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
(Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you've gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't sk ip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equat e your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

9. "Wow you must miss him? "
(This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)

10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a m ap, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq . Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan . Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq . Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day ---and on maps everywhere.)

11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments lik e that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"
(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. Seriously...military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. "Well in my opinion....."
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers abo ut deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politic s or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

last but not least....

14. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!"
(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

If you want to say anything, say thank you.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Six months

A lot can change in six months. On August 28, 2007 we were blessed with the arrival of Marlie at Ft Sill, OK. She and I are now back in Georgia while Bryan is on the other side of the world. The last six months haven't been easy by any means, but we survived them. She is starting to be a lot more fun and I am TRYING to not stress out so much about things. Hopefully the next six months will be even better!
The first picture was taken on the day Marlie was born and the second one is from breakfast this morning. Like her parents, this girl loves to eat!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Happy Birthday Mama!

Today is my mom's birthday. She's been 37 for quite a few years so we'll go with that one again! Marlie didn't want to be left out of the birthday wishes so here is hers.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Happy Birthday Bryan!

Today is Bryan's 27th birthday! Although it's already Sunday in his part of the world and he probably won't see this for a while, I wanted to make sure he knows that we're thinking about him. This picture is from his birthday last year and notice he already has icing on his finger!
I wish we could have all celebrated together this year but we'll make up for it next year. Marlie and I love you and miss you and look forward to spending many more of your birthdays together!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Children's Healthcare of Atlanta

In college, I realized what a special place Children's Healthcare of Atlanta is. The biggest philanthropy event on campus every year was the Dance Marathon in which all proceeds went to CHOA. When I received this email from my aunt I couldn't pass up the opportunity to try to help CHOA in such an EASY way. Please go to this site and vote for Children's Healthcare of Atlanta to get a new hospital playroom from Colgate.

Most of you have either spent time, or know of someone who has
spent time at one of the wonderful Children's Healthcare of Atlanta
hospitals. Please take just a moment to go to the website below and
vote for Atlanta (Children's Healthcare of Atlanta) to get a new
hospital playroom from Colgate. It is very quick and very easy. I
just voted and it only took a second. So far Atlanta only has 19% of
the vote so send this to some caring people and ask them to help.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

First video

This is my first attempt at putting a video on my blog. This morning Marlie was lying in bed and doing a lot of talking. I grabbed my phone to video her and of course she became more interested in the phone than talking. She also started "razzing" more than talking but it was funny so I thought I'd share it.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Here is Marlie with cousin Aiden at her first birthday party. Aiden woke up with a cold that day but did a great job in her role as birthday girl!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Almost there

Although this looks like a picture from a professional sitting, it's not. This was taken a couple of days before Marlie turned 5 months. We were at my sister's basketball game and my mom was walking Marlie around. Her friend snapped this picture in between taking action shots of the game.
I was awakened just before 0630 this morning by my cell phone. I kept it by my bed in the hopes that Bryan would call. It was him on the phone but he was mistaken about the time difference. He thought it was 0830 here. He decided to call back a few hours later. He had completed most of his trip and was one flight from his final destination. I look forward to hearing that he has arrived there safely.

Monday, February 18, 2008

One day down...

..with many more to go.
Bryan suprised us by arriving on Monday afternoon. Marlie & I were over at Elisabeth's house and he called my cell phone to see where we were. When I told him he said "Should I come over there then?". I was a little confused then realized he had surprised us once again. He was here until Friday when we went back up to Ft Bragg with him. We were able to get a little more family time in until he left yesterday morning. Saying goodbye was easier this time because I know what to expect, but harder because of Marlie. I was concerned about how she would take to Bryan since she hadn't seen him in over a month but she was crazy about him. I tried really hard to constantly show her pictures of him and say "Daddy" so that she would recognize him. Hopefully I will be able to keep her as familiar with him until she sees him again. I'm still trying to play catch up with the pictures. Here we are at Christmas when Marlie was almost 4 months old. I already can't wait until we're all back together like this again!

Monday, February 11, 2008


Marlie at 3 months.

Bryan will be here tomorrow! It's been about a month and a half since we've seen him so we are very excited. Hopefully the few days he is here will go by very slowly. Marlie has changed a lot since he's been gone and I'm looking forward to them getting to spend some time together. She has all sorts of new skills to show him. We are also going to start her on baby food this week. The doctor gave us the go ahead last month but I wanted to wait until Bryan was here so that he could be a part of that "first". I'm sure it will be entertaining!

Thursday, February 07, 2008

In Need of Sleep

I was looking for a picture from when Marlie was 2 months old and this one could not have been more fitting. I would have given anything for this last night. Marlie is a terrible napper but usually sleeps great at night. Not last night. She woke up at 10, 2, and 4. That last time I couldn't get her back to sleep until somewhere between 0530 and 0600. From then until we woke up for good I slept sitting up holding her. Six months ago I wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway but lying down. However, now I've become a pro at sleeping while sitting. Regardless of my new mom talents, I look forward to the day when her daddy can take care of her for me!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008


I'm going to attempt to do this again on a regular basis!
It's been quite a while since I posted last and a lot has happened.
Bryan graduated the Field Artillery Captains Career Course at the end of November. He originally had orders to report to Ft Riley, Kansas in January before going to Iraq again in the spring. However, his orders were changed on the Friday before Thanksgiving and we ended up leaving that following Wednesday. That’s the fastest we’ve moved yet! Marlie and I are back in Georgia and Bryan has been at Ft Bragg, NC since the beginning of December. Because of the training he is doing, we were not able to go with him there or visit. Thankfully he was able to come home for Christmas. He will be leaving to go to Afghanistan shortly. We will be able to see him again for about 4 days before he leaves so we are really looking forward to that. Going through a deployment with an infant is going to be much more difficult than it was when it was just me.
The first few months of Marlie’s life have been a challenge but she is slowly getting a little easier. We both get tired of staying in the house all day so we love that the weather is getting nicer. She really enjoys strolling and I enjoy the exercise.
I’m also going to try to post some more pictures on here from the past few months so I can catch up! The last picture of Marlie that was posted was when she was only 2 weeks. Here she was at a month and boy does she look mad!