Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Decisions

My heart just keeps getting heavier. I want to be able to help Misha get better, but I know that's not realistic. We went back to the vet yesterday because she has gotten where she won't eat. I knew there was nothing they could really do for her, but I wanted to at least take her in to be seen. Brent gave me a different food to try that's basically their "go to" food for animals that won't eat. He said that at this point, he was okay with her spinal problems but he's not ok with her not eating. We're going to try this food for a couple of days but if she doesn't start eating then we need to think about making some decisions.
I've obviously already been considering those decisions. I'm someone who has a hard time deciding what to eat for dinner so I can't even wrap my mind around making a decision about a life.
Misha is having a very difficult time. She can barely walk and when she does, it's not long before her back leg gives out. She'll then whine or bark until I can come help her up. I usually just carry her and lay her back on her bed. Lately I've been getting up 2-3 times a night to help her when she's fallen. Last night it was 5 or 6 times. I read that you should consider putting your dog down when their bad days outnumber their good days. I can't even remember when the last time is that she had what I would consider a good day.
After typing all that, I know it seems obvious how we should proceed. I know deep down that I wouldn't be killing her but that's certainly what it feels like. I don't believe in "playing God" when it comes to a human's medical care so I have a hard time choosing to do that with my pet.
I'm holding out hope that she will start eating a little bit and get stronger but I don't feel like that is likely. For now, I'm just going to try to keep taking care of her and being the best mom I can be to her.

1 comment:

Tara said...

oh goodness Cristin. I hate to hear that. I'll keep her in my thoughts and prayers and when Bentley was so sick as a puppy we thought we might have this decision early on. We just said we would always do what was in their best interest. I know you will too ut damn it is hard. Wishing you both better days.